C.D. Journals – September 1, 2018

closeup photo of journal book and pencils

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It’s September!  Yay!  Only 21 more days until the First Day of fall!.  Not that I’m counting on it feeling like it here in central Texas, but I can officially pull out my fall decorations!  Yes, I decorate for fall.  I celebrate fall; cooler weather, falling leaves, changing shadows – I love the light in fall.  Honestly, I’m not a big pumpkin spice fan, but I do enjoy pumpkin patches, pumpkin bread, and even pumpkin pie!  I love cooking the Thanksgiving feast for my family!  This year, however, I’m wondering if I can pull it off.

Working in the kitchen has probably been the one thing that has been the most affected by this new situation of mine.  I look down a lot while working in the kitchen, and looking down while focusing is virtually impossible.  I cannot look down without my head rotating.  I can wear a neck brace for awhile and it helps keep my head from turning too far and it is extremely uncomfortable and even painful.  It can be done though.

So, I’m thinking that Thanksgiving dinner this year will be prepared in small increments over several days (probably more like a couple of weeks worth of “several days”), with lots of help.  Fortunately, a lot of my menu can be made ahead of time and stored in the freezer.  Also, fortunately, my daughter is a good cook and my husband is a wonderful helper.  I think this Thanksgiving will be a challenging one and possibly one of our most memorable.

I really don’t want this disorder to be an ending for me, but rather a beginning.  The beginning of a new and challenging chapter.  Just because I need to find new ways of being and doing, doesn’t mean I have to have a defeatist attitude and think that my life is over.  My life as I knew it a couple of months ago is over, sure.  When I got married, my life as I had known it as a single person was over.  When I had children, my life as I had known it nine months before was over.  Our lives are constantly changing in big ways.  We adjust, we adapt, and we go on.  This should be no different.  There may be some mourning, there usually is when we lose things that were valuable to us.  Having control over how my head moved was valuable to me and I will mourn the loss of it.  Some days I may mourn more than others, and I will still go on.

My sense of “normal” has changed and I thank God for making me flexible and adaptable, and for being my source of comfort and peace.  I also thank Him for a wonderful, supportive family.  Just this morning, I was walking around in my neck brace, my son was sitting at the table with chipmunk cheeks from having all four molars extracted, and my husband was getting ready to mow the lawn with his injured wrist and a hernia . . . and we were laughing!  My son said something funny and his dad and I expounded on it and we were all laughing.  I love being part of this family for that very reason.  We have always laughed a lot.  We laugh at ourselves, we laugh at life, we just see humor in so many things.  I thank my husband for that.  He is one of the most positive guys I know and he is my earthly rock!  We even have a couple of jokes about C.D.  I won’t share them here our of consideration and sensitivity.

Life is hard.  We were never promised otherwise here on this planet.  We can totally succumb to the negativity or we can do our darndest to focus on the positive and even laugh at the absurdity of some of it.  We have a choice.  I feel that I have a choice!  Every day I get to make that choice.  I won’t always make the best choice.  I am human.  But, every morning His mercies are new and every morning that I wake up, I get the opportunity to choose.  What a blessing that is!  A fresh start every morning and maybe even the possibility of being healed!  It’s happened before.  We never know what the day will bring.  That’s the adventure of life!  I choose today to be an adventurer!


P.S.  As I’m finishing this, my husband comes into the room blasting a Toby Mac song on his phone and dancing!  See what I mean about him?  How can I be negative with that in my life?  😂😂😂💕

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